Officially an Officiant

As I may have previously mentioned, FI and I thought that when we were going to get married, we would ask someone close to us to be the officiant for the ceremony.

This was such a great idea, and we thought it would be extra special since the ceremony could be performed by someone close to us.  We eventually asked my grandfather to be the officiant, and as honored as he was to have been asked, he ultimately declined.  His reasons were fair, however, and I respect him to being able to tell me what an honor it would be, but that he felt it would be too emotional for him to do, and that he wasn't comfortable in expressing that emotion in front of our wedding guests. I know that it would be very emotional, and I am still grateful that we asked him.

However, his saying no, meant that we needed to find someone else to do it.  We had a few people in mind, but before we asked, I decided to do some further research to find out the actual requirements for performing marriage ceremonies in Rhode Island.  And wow, I am so glad that I did, because they are so strange, and nothing like what I expected.

For some people who wish to get married in Rhode Island, having a family member or friend officiate will work, but for us, it ended up not panning out.

After calling numerous State and City Departments, I was finally able to speak with someone about the Rhode Island requirements for a marriage ceremony.  Apparently, there are two different types of marriage ceremonies in Rhode Island - civil and religious.

In order to have a religious marriage, the ceremony must be performed by an ordained individual.  This means that the ceremony must be religious, and the officiant must fill out an additional part of the marriage certificate that deems the ceremony a religious one.  In addition, the ordained individual must be available to submit the signed marriage certificate to the City Hall within 72 hours of the ceremony, which if they are not local, may be an issue since they are not open on weekends.

The civil ceremony can be performed by a family member or friend only if you propose a Solemnization of Marriage to the General Assembly, and they must pass a bill that allows for one person to marry you on a specified date only.  The Solemnization must be submitted between January and June, which is the only time that the General Assembly is in session.

So, with this new information, we were stuck.  We couldn't have a family member or friend marry us because the GA is not in session, and we can't have someone ordained to marry us because we didn't want a religious ceremony.

So, I started emailing every officiant I could find with a good review, and almost all of them were booked.  I finally was able to contact three that were available to perform our ceremony, and interviewed them over the phone.  I had a great conversation with all three, however, one just stuck out, and I knew that he would be a great match, even without having met him in person.  So, we officially have an officiant for our ceremony - and we're almost 7 weeks out.  I guess the timing could be worse, right?

Mawwaige is what Bwings us Togetha Today

Know the quote? You better. If not, Google it, then watch the movie pronto.

This post is about who will marry us.  Since FI and I do not practice any religion, we decided that we wanted to be married by someone close to us, who would be able to tell their story of our relationship and who we are as individuals and as a couple.  This is very important to me, because I want to be able to look back on our wedding day and know who our officiant was and remember why we chose them to be such an important part of our wedding day.

We came up with a few people who we wanted to consider asking, and sat on the decision for a while.  Until, one day, FI came up to me and asked me why I hadn't put my grandfather on the list.  I told him that it was because I wanted the officiant to be a special person to both of us.  And he told me that my grandfather was very special to him.  That made me so so happy!

FI lost his grandfather in 2008, and he was so close to him.  It made me feel honored that FI was comfortable with asking my grandfather to step in and be our officiant.

My grandparents are typical New England Snowbirds, and live in Florida for half the year.  They are actually flying back here to Rhody this week, so once we get the chance to see them, we are planning on asking my grandfather to be a part of our wedding.  I am really hoping that he agrees to be such a big part of our day.

If he does agree, I have some work cut out for me.  In Rhode Island, the requirements for officiants are that they must be ordained.  The Universal Life Church has a process online that can be completed to become ordained.  This process is free of charge and being ordained through this service is recognized by the state of Rhode Island.  I am hoping that the process will be simple and easy for my grandfather to complete should he decide to agree to marry us.

Have any of you used the Universal Life Church to get a family member or friend ordained to officiate your wedding? What was the process like? Was it easy? Did your state recognize it?