Officially an Officiant

As I may have previously mentioned, FI and I thought that when we were going to get married, we would ask someone close to us to be the officiant for the ceremony.

This was such a great idea, and we thought it would be extra special since the ceremony could be performed by someone close to us.  We eventually asked my grandfather to be the officiant, and as honored as he was to have been asked, he ultimately declined.  His reasons were fair, however, and I respect him to being able to tell me what an honor it would be, but that he felt it would be too emotional for him to do, and that he wasn't comfortable in expressing that emotion in front of our wedding guests. I know that it would be very emotional, and I am still grateful that we asked him.

However, his saying no, meant that we needed to find someone else to do it.  We had a few people in mind, but before we asked, I decided to do some further research to find out the actual requirements for performing marriage ceremonies in Rhode Island.  And wow, I am so glad that I did, because they are so strange, and nothing like what I expected.

For some people who wish to get married in Rhode Island, having a family member or friend officiate will work, but for us, it ended up not panning out.

After calling numerous State and City Departments, I was finally able to speak with someone about the Rhode Island requirements for a marriage ceremony.  Apparently, there are two different types of marriage ceremonies in Rhode Island - civil and religious.

In order to have a religious marriage, the ceremony must be performed by an ordained individual.  This means that the ceremony must be religious, and the officiant must fill out an additional part of the marriage certificate that deems the ceremony a religious one.  In addition, the ordained individual must be available to submit the signed marriage certificate to the City Hall within 72 hours of the ceremony, which if they are not local, may be an issue since they are not open on weekends.

The civil ceremony can be performed by a family member or friend only if you propose a Solemnization of Marriage to the General Assembly, and they must pass a bill that allows for one person to marry you on a specified date only.  The Solemnization must be submitted between January and June, which is the only time that the General Assembly is in session.

So, with this new information, we were stuck.  We couldn't have a family member or friend marry us because the GA is not in session, and we can't have someone ordained to marry us because we didn't want a religious ceremony.

So, I started emailing every officiant I could find with a good review, and almost all of them were booked.  I finally was able to contact three that were available to perform our ceremony, and interviewed them over the phone.  I had a great conversation with all three, however, one just stuck out, and I knew that he would be a great match, even without having met him in person.  So, we officially have an officiant for our ceremony - and we're almost 7 weeks out.  I guess the timing could be worse, right?

What You'll be Reading

FI and I are in an interesting scenario with our wedding invitations.  Because we are hosting the wedding, our parents names will not be listed on the invitations.  This means that traditional invitation wording will not make sense to use in our situation.

Mr. and Mrs. Amanda's Parents 

request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter 

Amanda Middle 

to 

Dylan Middle 

son of 

Mr. and Mrs. Dylan's Parents 

Saturday, the sixth of October 

two thousand twelve 

at five o'clock in the evening 

Roger Williams Botanical Center

Providence, RI

FI and I are also not getting married in a religious ceremony, so all of the wording that has some religious affiliation would also not make sense to use.

We wanted to find something that wasn't too overused, but at the same time, wasn't too mushy, awkward, dorky, or weird - I know, I'm using such technical terms, aren't I?

I ended up finding our wording at Invitation Consultants, but before I reveal what we have chosen, I wanted to show you what we did not choose.

Just like a page out of a fairy tale the storybook romance comes true... 

Amanda Middle Lastname 

and 

Dylan Middle Lastname 

request the honor of your presence 

on Saturday, the sixth of October 

two thousand twelve 

at five o'clock in the evening 

Roger Williams Botanical Center

Providence, RI

This one was not chosen because we are not in a fairy tale, and I am NOT a princess, and do not want to be called one on my wedding day.  //End Rant

Or...

From the first 'tee' 

we knew we 'wood' spend 

the 'course' of our lives together 

We, 

Amanda Middle Lastname

and 

Dylan Middle Lastname

‘wood’ love ‘fore’ you to join us at our wedding 

Saturday, the sixth of October 

two thousand twelve 

at five o'clock in the evening 

Roger Williams Botanical Center

Providence, RI

Golf has nothing to do with our relationship, and I'm not exactly sure I would want the word "wood" in quotes on my wedding invitation. Especially with our group of friends. That would never fly.

So yeah, those are SO not us.  But, if they are you, by all means, please use them on your invitations. 

Here is the slightly modified one I think we have decided to use:

Because you have shared in our lives 

by your friendship and love, we 

Amanda Middle Lastname

and 

Dylan Middle Lastname 

invite you to share 

the beginning of our new life together 

on our wedding day

Saturday, the sixth of October

two thousand twelve

at five o'clock

Roger Williams Botanical Center

Providence, RI

So, what are your thoughts? Is this too cheesy? Does the wording make sense? Can you actually picture this on a wedding invitation?

Yet another project...

I've been big into sewing my own clothing for a little while now, and I've always been pretty crafty, so I have quite a few DIY blogs that I follow, not to mention all the little projects that pop up on Pinterest all the time!

Recently, I came across these posts for rag rugs, and they really caught my eye.  I thought that it would look beautiful in a house, but we don't have one yet.  So, I decided to think about what else it could be used for, and thought about the wedding. I mean, come on, like any other bride finding a new DIY idea doesn't think about how she can incorporate it into the wedding.

Then, it hit me.  The ceremony space is in one of the greenhouses at the Botanical Center, but the thing is that the ground is concrete.  Given the way that the fountain separates the center of the space and there are actually two aisles that go around the fountain, that would be too much to decorate, never mind the fact that that is where all of our guests will be standing.  So, I have decided that since it's just concrete that we will be standing on, that a little rug for the two of us would look cute.

Unlike most rag rugs, however, I chose the colors that I wanted, and didn't just use rags that I had laying around, because honestly, I don't just have rags laying around.  So I went to the store, and bought 6 of the cheapest king size sheets I could find.  And then I washed and dried them, then ripped them up.  Yep, and then with one single continuous strip of a single king size sheet, I made a giant ball, and threatened to play bocce in the house. FI loved that idea, and it may have happened.

But, now, I have to braid one of each color strip together, and that could take a really long time.  Since I don't have any pictures quite yet, I'll leave you with some of my inspiration pictures, and I'll be back shortly with a DIY, because I know you will want one as soon as you see how it comes out.

Image via The House That Lars Built / Chevron Crochet Rug

Image via Fine Craft Guild / Eco-Friendly Bath Mat

Image by Craft Passion via Curbly / No-Sew Rag Rug

Beautiful, right? Can you see us standing on a rug like this to jazz up the ceremony space just a bit?

What programs?

Since we are having such a short ceremony, and also have a small bridal party, we are not making ceremony programs.  While this may also be part of the recent trends that are going around, I also think that they are a good idea to use because they give your wedding guests a feel for who is important to you and who is taking part in celebrating your special day. I also think it's a great way to honor those that you love, by including a sweet note to them.

So, I am looking for some way to be able to express our thanks to our immediate family - thanks for supporting us and being there for us along the way. I don't want to just do this in the speech we will likely give at dinner, either, because I feel like that is kind of expected, and won't really mean as much as we actually mean it.  I'm looking for suggestions on how we can really make it known to our family how much they mean to us and how much we appreciate all that they have done for us.

Are any of you doing something extra to show those you love how much you appreciate them?

Check us out on the web!

Working in technology and having designed many websites before, I knew that I wanted this to be special and as near to perfect as possible.  I knew about all the free wedding websites that are offered out there, but I wanted something more unique, and more importantly, I wanted to be able to customize a lot of different elements.  So, I decided to create my own.  Although I know how to create websites from scratch, and have done that before, I figured that I would use something that I am familiar with, and not try to make it too complex, so I decided to use Blogger.

While I did use a free template offered by Blogger, I made a lot of different changes to it, adding my own images and text, and changing the layout, and made it my own.  I also took advantage of the deal offered, and purchased a custom domain name for only $10.

It took me a few months to get the site to be the way that I wanted it to look, but we finished it up this past week, just in time for the Save the Dates to go out.

Here are a few screenshots of the site. I hope you enjoy!

Homepage of our wedding website / Personal Picture

What to Do page of our wedding website / Personal Picture

Did you create your own wedding website, hire out, or use one of the templates offered by so many of the wedding idea websites out there?

Venue hunt, Part 2

FI and I met this morning with the coordinator at the second venue we chose to visit.  As soon as we walked into the venue, I got an incredible feeling. It was everything that we wanted, and while it didn't include tables and chairs, it still fell under budget, and more importantly, will cost less than a tent in a backyard.

We put a hold on our date. We are going to check things over, make sure that this is what we want, and then secure it.

But, I'll stop teasing you and show you the digs.  The venue is the Roger Williams Botanical Center at the Roger Williams Park in Providence!

Image via Google / Serendipity Photography

View of the Front Doors where I will make my entrance / Personal Picture

View from the Front Door where I will make my entrance / Personal Picture

View of the fountain where FI and I will stand and say our vows / Personal Picture

View of the reception space in an attached greenhouse / Personal Picture

This really is the perfect ceremony and reception space for us. It allows us to bring in outdoors in, and not have to worry about the weather cooperating, since the spaces are in greenhouses.

So, what do you think? Will it be perfect?

Venue hunt, Part 1

Well that was a disappointment.

FI was not pleased with the price estimate for the rentals, so we have decided to see what venues are around locally that we could get for our date, and most importantly, for a lot cheaper than renting the tent and accessories.

Living in New England is not easy.  The standard of living is higher than the middle of the country, but lower than the west coast.  But, generally, things are more expensive around here, especially during peak seasons, which our wedding date falls in.

In terms of venues, we knew we wanted to keep the outside, relaxed, casual-ish feel we originally wanted, so this immediately removed hotels and fancy-schmancy places from our potential venue list.  Others that were going to cost us over 5K were also removed from the list, leaving us with just a few places.  We looked at the websites online, and narrowed it down to two.  Yes, we limited ourselves greatly, but Rhode Island is only so big, and having lived here for 24 years, I kind of know what places I do and don't want to have our wedding at.

The first step was to call the places and see if they had our date available.  Being on a holiday weekend was playing against us, but the first place we called had it open.  So, we made an appointment, and went this morning to check it out - Kinney Bungalow.

Image via Kinney Bungalow / Seth Jacobson Photography

Kinney Bungalow was beautiful. It's a great house set on farmland, overlooking corn fields and down the street from the Narragansett Beach.  They had an outdoor ceremony space, which could double as a cocktail hour space, and all tables, chairs were included with the rental cost.  The inside had a bridal suite on the main floor, but the reception space was on the second level, which has 360 degrees of windows to enjoy the views, and a gorgeous brick fireplace that can be decorated as you wish.

Image via Kinney Bungalow / Photographer Unknown

There is a grand staircase leading straight up to the second floor, and behind that is an area for the bar to be set up and the catering to bring in the food.  However, depending on the number of guest tables needed, the dance floor could need to be separated from the dining area, because of the staircase and other rooms being in the middle of the second story.  

We really did like the space at the Kinney Bungalow.  It was gorgeous inside, and allowed for a lot of customization and decorating.  But, aside from the dance floor being separated, not creating a sense of inclusion of all our guests, it was right alongside a very busy road, and the traffic could be heard from the ceremony space, which is not ideal.

But, we still have one more place to look at, and if this next one does not pan out, I can really see us getting married here.